Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Innovative ways to come in to the office on time!
Hello all of you fellow tardy creatures! You probably didn’t know that this we are becoming quite a motley crew of people who are unable to make it in before the LATE COMING REGISTER is pulled out at the reception.
So, after thinking really hard, having many fights with managers belligerently holding the attendance policy against the dynamics of city traffic, or wondering whether it makes any sense to come in at 9:30 in the morning when the air conditioning beeps alive at 10am, and some soul searching on whether one really needs 8 or 9 hours of sleep as age catches on, I have finally figured out some of the things that we could all do to make sure that we can come in on time. And I sincerely believe that in the times of recession when there is less and less work available around, all the more reason that we should come earlier!! Because nothing shows a middle finger to the economic forces against us like coming in on time and helping out the pre-sales effort to ensure that we can go back to 16 hour days!
So, here is a list of things that I have thought of and these are ranked in order.
Whatever your driving school instructor said was wrong!
This is for those of us coming into office with some kind of road based transportation. Driving school instructors really were not training us right. See the problem is that driving instructors told us to drive well because instead of being in rush to be at work, they already were at work teaching us. Clearly they have no idea how difficult it can be to make a 10 Km stretch in an hour or less in the city. What you need to do to get to work is to weave, cut through and bully ever living thing on the road to get out of your way – or else….this recession may just never get over!
Prioritize!
This is going to sound odd but think about it seriously. You’re warming up that car of yours, your waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom, for the little old lady to get out of the elevator. All that philanthropy is not going to make this recession end, child. What you need to do is to ignore the consequences of not doing a 30 second vehicle warm up, tell everyone at home that you had some really bad chilly last and need the bathroom bad, and next time granny wants take her own retirement time getting into the lift, make a face like the DOOR button is working and scream FASTER GRANNY FASTER!!! (She probably needed the exercise anyway! And dammit there is a recession on!)
Help your local policeman…
This is something ingenious that struck me while I speeding at 100 Kmph on the highway. It turns out that the speed limits for the city were set in the days when the fastest things on the roads of the city were horses! Now, don’t blame the government! They understand you and I and the fact that most cars today allow you to drive at 80 Kmph while holding a coffee in one hand and your make up kit in the other. So don’t go down that road. The next time you see that officer standing on the side of the road aiming a what looks like a magical can of insecticide that can also detect speed, think to yourself, “One day’s salary while sitting to argue with him or 100 in his back pocket?” Do the right thing, people have mouths to feed. And there is a recession on, damn you!
Diet
Coffee, Tea, Toast, Butter, Eggs, Bacon…..carbs, carbs and more carbs! Do you know that the average person spends more time eating breakfast than commuting? So, unless you have one of those cool cars as mentioned in the previous point, you’re probably eating more than you need to anyway! Now, to many of you, this is going to sound mean but think about it like this, you’re going to have lunch in the next four hours anyway! And how much physical work do you do at work? Typing hard on the keyboard doesn’t count! Going on a diet is a good thing and this is one step in that direction for your health and finances….which if you haven’t noticed are depleting thanks to the recession that you are making worse by having breakfast and not being at work!
Go home late!
Do I detect a suspicious look in your eye? Well, guess what? This is an old MBA secret that none will share to the outside world but me…and I am putting my life on the line to make sure that you non-MBAs learn this. The Secret is…” Go home late….so you don’t have to deal with household chores…” Who does it then? Who cares!??
There is always someone at home or someone you can pay small time money to do your dirty work would be your responsibility! It is called delegation! Now I am sure that many of us want to be big managers but we aren’t going to get there without delegating every small part of our lives. So, start doing that right now and work the extra four hours, tell whoever’s at home that you are coming in late and to go ahead and do the dishes and the laundry and go home only to sleep. Optimal isn’t it? And those extra few hours at work even when there is no work, just lets the economic monsters know that we will not buckle in front of them….DAMN YOU RECESSION!
I hope I have been able to provide some sort of insight into the things that we could do make sure that we beat that big hand of the clock. Take that…RECESSION!
